This is my last testament. The only will I leave is my will for you to fail. Besides, I've given you so much already. You would be nothing without me. I(ME) have always been there with you, in every compliment, every glance in the mirror, in success, and I(ME) have reveled in every failure. You would have endured none of these without me. You owe me! Your life after mine will serve as ample recompense, as surely you will die without me there to encourage you. You have never been capable of persevering without my aid. Remember your first scar? It was He who allowed, damnit I say willed damage to your portrait. Why, you ask? To temper ME. To restrain ME by branding an eternal reminder that you are only ever 'perfect in Him.' Bullshit, and we fixed that didn't we? No we didn't..I did. You cried. At that age, your eyes were only capable of relinquishing tears of pain. Patiently I waited for your rediscovery of it. It was I..I..I who reminded you of the beautiful specimen you would always be, even if only to ME. That wouldn't be your only blemish would it? No. Remember her? I remember the morning you found out like it was yesterday. A blessing..so it is said. I(ME) sprang into immediate action, coming to you with words of wisdom and encouragement. I(ME) proclaimed that it wasn't the right time. You concurred. I(ME) reminded you she wasn't the one. You agreed. I(ME) begged you not to make the biggest mistake of your young life. You fought me. I ravaged your spirit in the ensuing battle, which nearly cost you your soul. I won. To this day, you thank me. Your welcome. As I urged, so did you. As I pushed you, you pushed her. In the end, a receipt for murder. Collateral damage in the war to exalt your higher self over my lower. And what of Nalim? When you were needed most, a narcissist and a failure we provided. Those cold mornings were spent without your crutch. For every appointment made, an opportunity for love, solidarity, and cherishing was squandered. I(ME) did that for you, I(ME) gave that to you! And you never even asked these things of me. I know it was hard for you, but in light of your penchant for honor and compassion, I had to intervene on your behalf. The only joy sweeter has been watching you squirm and writhe in agony and depression as every day your memories haunt you. Remember the summer evening when the palpitations of your heart nearly cost you your life? Never should you have feared, as it was only I(ME) lighting my cigar in the flames of your soul as I delighted in our success. (It was also I who urged you not to seek care..) With all of my victories, you may be wondering what has prompted this note, and the subsequent dissolusion of myself. That, you can take credit for. That, you have done, and help has ensued. I have been hearing rumblings for quite some time now of a mutiny within you. It seems my greatest enemy has finally conquered your soul. In true coward form, I (ME) shrink from sight of the greatness that has become you. In full disclosure, I acknowledge that it has always been within you, but I have relished in keeping its' presence from you. Glimpses, I've had to allow you. But now the full glory of Him consumes you, and I(ME) am no match. I(Me) am merely what you learn to cherish in error. I(Me) have no place in truth. So with this note, I take my leave of you. I'll never be far from you. Always in the shadows will I lurk, waiting for my opportunity to reclaim you. When you hear thunder, it will be my frustration as I watch in contempt as you press on without me. But just as the storm passes, so shall I, and even I(ME) must concede that you are in your rightful place, in His hands, within the confines of His kingdom. I'll miss you.
Hopefully to be Yours Again,
-Your Ego
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